Week 9: Re-Aligning

"L’attachement est fabricateur d’illusions, et quiconque veut le réel doit être détaché."

Attachment is a manufacturer of illusions and whoever wants reality ought to be detached

- Simone Weil

Not my best week for working towards my goals if I'm honest. I'm also not going to beat myself up about it, because I'm seeing a pattern and learning why. I am recognizing that I'm creating my own suffering through attachment, and clinging to 'busyness' and 'planning' for the goal farthest in the future. In doing so, its keeping distracted from cultivating my other goals. So, in the spirit of being honest with myself (without judgement) here's where I stand this week.

1. Continue to grow my yoga practice as both a teacher and a student. One win in this area is that I've been approached about teaching another class for a friend's studio at an ideal time slot and location. I've also been invited to discuss and host events. I'm happy about this, and also questioning what growth actually means here. I don't think it's the number of classes that I'm teaching or the money I make. I do think it's the classes I teach where I feel I've facilitated an experience that has somehow helped or inspired my students.
   

2. Decluttering and Clearing space This fell by the wayside this week. Right now that house is chaos and I'm feeling its effect on my mental health. I am making time to pickup a specific area tomorrow that would make all the difference.
   

3. Building a Professional Practice in Thai Massage A friend asked me how my website was going..........it's going......but I was not putting much energy here
   

4. Advocating for, and marketing myself Also not much here. I have a list of "coulda/shoulda" but that won't help So I'm looking for an actionable step this week.
   

5. Preparing for Cambodia I had some insight this week that I was letting my "planning" become a distraction from my actual intentions for this trip. (Service and spiritual development) Instead of listening to my podcasts or reading books on the history and culture of Cambodia, or connecting to my own yoga practice, I was obsessing over possible flight and stopover Itineraries etc and spinning my wheels over what else I might "need" to obtain or plan for this trip. (When sharing this concern to my partner, he wholeheartedly agreed and let me know that I was driving him crazy in the process) To be fair, I don't think it's a bad thing to travel, and enjoy the journey as much as the destination. I'm just noticing, as I have traveled much more since the pandemic ended, I have gotten stuck in my patterns of perfectionism. I suddenly need to plan and pack the "perfect" wardrobe, or I need a different day bag. I need to plan my hotel, and daily itinerary to the last detail, etc. to "be prepared." Yet in doing so, this is keeping my mind stuck in "the future" vs. enjoying and connecting with who and what surrounds me in the present. This week it is my intention to cultivate TRUST and letting things BE without second guessing and jumping to control them. I made a flight decision and will be buying the tickets. .....I trust that it is enough for what I truly need.